Carefully Bettering a Business Correspondence

The following is a sample of a business correspondence. The purpose of this is to act as a communicative document, specifically about some form of work done and the repercussions thereof. It serves a purpose as a functional document and can even be sent between members of a company to discuss simple matters. Below is a sample of one such document. Of course, you should always know how start a letter from the top:

 


Company Name

Company Address

City, State, Zip code

Company Website

 

Date

 

BE-TECHNICAL DESIGN AND MANUFACTURY CO.

279 Grand Avenue

Freehold, NJ 07728


 

Now that the letter has a for and from address, the real part of it begins. Ask yourself four questions:

1. To whom are you sending the letter (their name and occupation)?

2. For what reason do they need this letter sent to them?

3. What do you want them to do about it (do you just want to talk, or do you want immediate action)?

4. Should anybody else be receiving this letter?

Once you have these questions answered, you can start up the body work.

*As an aside: Personal sounding language is not recommended in these kinds of letters. These are written to discuss work that needs to be done, and as such should be blunt and to the point*

 


Attention: Director of Management

 

Subject: Warning regarding Worker and Resource regulations

 

Dear Director:

It has come to my attention that your facility has purchased and is the process of installing automated machinery into the factory assembly procedure. I must regretfully inform you that while we would normally promote this type of enhancement and proactivity, that you currently are at risk breaking procedure and established legal and civil guidelines.


 

The key here (above) was to quickly and clearly establish the topic of discussion. You can afford to be short here, as the next few paragraphs will be more explanatory with your intent.

Speaking of which, you can take as long as you feel is needed to write the body, but it is recommended to do it in a methodical way. Sort out the problems into key topics and write them together. Here are three examples:

1 – Finances/Resources

2 – Meetings/Inspections

3 – Workers/Unions

It is best to keep the information sorted to in such a way as to make the letter coherent (with demands appearing multiple times because the same problem is brought up in multiple parts.)

 


First and foremost, while the materials you have purchased are of a usable quality, and the machines are all usable in operations at your facility, you have not made any mention of updating factory safety measures. In order to stay in line with guidelines established by the department of labor’s robot safety protocols, barrier guards, emergency brake, warning systems, and other such precautions should be prepared as well, if not ahead of installation. We do not want to risk an employee injury, or a much more grievous incident.

Your installation of these devices also interfere with the available financial resources we have at our disposal, which in turn will affect our employees. These devices will require regular upkeep and maintenance, which will necessitate other specialists to be hired as well as costs for repair materials. Several of these costs on their own will not allow us to retain all of our workforce, potentially meaning letting go of some of our members. This in itself will also be problematic, as our most recent negotiations with the labor union has made the minimum number of workers we can have quite constraining.

If at all possible, I request that you slow or halt the installation of these machines until these complications can be dealt with. In the case they cannot, we hope that this purchase can be refunded in some way, or that it can be dealt with in some other way. This issue will also be a topic of discussion at the next conference (held April 20, 2016) at our offices in Howard Beach, and I would like you to attend in order to provide a more in depth explanation of the situation to the rest of our executive staff. If you cannot attend, please send a report instead including all products purchased, costs, and suppliers.


 

Of course, remember to end the letter formally, but for a Business Correspondence, you can include an extra part at the end. If a ‘c:’ is present, then that is where you write whether or not the letter is being copied and sent to other people within the company. The reason usually come up if a copy is being collected for legal purposes, or more importantly, if the letter requires the attention of more than one individual.

 


Sincerely,

 

 

Brandon Kelly

 

c: Johnathan Godfrey, Director of Finances